Giving & Receiving

Giving and Receiving


Until we receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. Author Unknown

It’s that time of year when we are focused on altruism and what we can give.  It’s an exciting time of year as our energy focuses on those we love and those whom we can offer support to during the holiday season.  However, giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin so the focus for this monthly blog is on receiving and how we let others give to us.

In “Go-Givers” by Burg and Mann, the authors discuss the law of receptivity beginning with the belief that “the key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.”  Many of us were raised to believe that giving is better than receiving so we sometimes block receiving or do not look for opportunities to receive.  Burg and Mann suggest that it’s not better to give than to receive-it’s insane to try to give and not receive and that receiving is the natural result of giving.

What makes receiving so difficult for us?  Part of the difficulty becomes in the ask.  There are many reasons we hesitate asking others for help.  First, we are afraid of rejection.  What will happen is someone says no to our request?  Well, we move on!  It’s not the end of the world but sometimes it might feel like it.  Second, we may feel that we don’t deserve help.  If you learned the adage; “you made your bed-now you need to lie in it”, you may believe that asking is out of the question for you.  Thirdly, we do not want to look needy, foolish or stupid.  Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles”, states “You’ve got to ask.  Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful and neglected secret to success and happiness”.  Canfield has four criteria for asking; ask as if you expect to get it; assume you can get it; ask someone who can give it to you; be clear and specific.

This third criterion I think is most relevant when we think of receiving.  Being judicious with your choice of persons to ask is fundamental to receiving.  Once you have removed the blocks to receiving, David Lakhani in “The Power of an Hour” suggests that you might want to assemble a team of mutually beneficial and supportive relationships.  This group can move your life forward in ways that other people cannot as they share common goals, ideas and commitments that can help you achieve your goals.  What is powerful about this group is that it is not a transactional relationship rather it is a transformational relationship in that you all work towards each others’ highest good, dreams and goals.

Napoleon Hill  in “The Laws of Success” also concurs with Lakhani when Hill describes mastermind alliances.  He advises that we need to form mastermind alliances which he defines as “two or more minds working actively together in perfect harmony toward a common definite object.”  Additionally, Hill advises that once we form these alliances, we invest in the maintenance of these groups.  Finally, Bill George in “True North” suggests that this alliance could take the form of a board of directors represented by people with whom you can be completely open and vulnerable with and who are also willing to tell you the complete and honest truth.

As we reexamine our beliefs about giving and receiving, we have the opportunity to open to possibilities that can be game changing for our own success.  It’s up to you to determine who and when you will ask for help as you move away from limiting beliefs that may have impeded your success in the past!

To your success!

Dr. Peggy