Sydney Paige McCutcheon

My Story

My Story

Sydney Paige McCutcheon

Sydney Paige McCutcheon

I remember back a couple years ago when my first job held a picnic for their employees (I mentioned before how one year my sister made us sing!) and this was before there were any thoughts of surgery; I think I was a sophomore and possibly my mom had made a few discussions regarding the former. Anyhow, though I had the prosthetic from Tina’s Treasures for my everyday wear, when it came to a bathing suit my mom had to be creative.

Using two small inserts for bras, she sewed them together and onto my bathing suit. It was a good idea, and it worked for the first half hour or so. But once at the picnic, it became my worst nightmare. Everyone knows a bathing suit – no matter a bikini, one piece, two piece or skirted suit – shows all and hides nothing.

As I was thinking about this memory, it got me to thinking about how many of us, not all, in some way to do this very same thing. We dress ourselves up, and add an accessory whether it be a forced smile or an ugly brooch (though I am very fond of brooches). And we wear it all day even though it is driving us nuts, because we think people will hate us if they see the real us. But the thing is, people hate the fake us too, so I rather be the first and be real.

Anyhow, this padding kept moving and I felt it looked obvious and odd – that anyone with eyes could tell there was something funky with me. So, I went to the bathroom, locked the stall door with my mom on the opposite side, and ripped the sucker out. She wasn’t too happy.

But I was.

I was free.

Angry tears down my face and thoughts in my head asking ‘why me’ over and over, but part of me felt and knew freedom too. Mom had to let go of the suit thing (I threw the padding away – oops) and I went with my sister and her friends to the lazy river. Sure, I kept my arms crossed over my chest the entire time, but I felt better than before.

Let us cast off these things that hinder us, though we think they are a helper, and be free.

John 8:36

My dad always tells my sister and me that you can’t care what people think about
you. Now, there are limits to that, you don’t need to take that as leave to act like a manic and be rude to people just to have your own way, but it does mean to not let other people hinder you either. Don’t let them hinder your dreams, don’t let them tell you what you are, because they couldn’t even tell you who they are. Lastly, here is a story I want to share that emphasizes this:

Long ago, there lived a man named Bartimaeus, and he was blind and he was a beggar. Every day, from what we can concur, he sat on the roadside and spent his day. Jesus happened to be leaving Jericho then with His disciples and a great crowd, when Bartimaeus heard that it was Jesus coming by. So he began to cry out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Many rebuked him, and told him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped, and He said, “Call him.”

They call for him, saying, “Take heart. Get up; He is calling you.”

Throwing off his cloak, Bartimaeus sprang up and came to Jesus, and Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

Bartimaeus then said to Him, “Rabbi, I want to see.”

And Jesus told him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately Bartimaeus received his sight and followed Jesus down the road.  Mark 10:46-52 

I heard a preacher tell it like this, the outer garment that Bartimaeus wore was a garment made for beggars to wear to signify to the people that he was a beggar, that he was blind. It set him apart, it labeled him, and he wore it every day. Then Jesus comes on the scene and Bartimaeus goes wild! This is the Son of God! He is right there – and you know what? Bartimaeus wasn’t going to let Him leave without speaking to Him first. He can’t see, but he can speak and he cries out – “Son of David! Have mercy upon me!” (sometimes we need to cry out to get people to notice what needs attention, with any matter) The people surrounding, the crowd, the world, told Bartimaeus to be quiet – who was he after all that Jesus would want to speak to him? That is the same thing people and the world try to tell us everyday – who are we to try to rise above the filth? You’re too fat, you’re too old, you’re too dumb – the list goes on and on of the things, the hindrances, that are thrown at us. But you see, Bartimaeus didn’t care what those people thought and he cried out even louder, “Jesus! Save me! Rescue me!”

But the real part right now to point out is that when Jesus does call him forth, the response Bartimaeus gives – because he was a man of action. He threw off his cloak and came to Jesus. That’s what faith is. He knew he wouldn’t need that anymore, he was going to Jesus. He knew he wasn’t going to beg anymore, he wasn’t going to be blind anymore – and that is what we need to start doing.

We need to throw off these cloaks that are stopping us. You are not too fat, you are not too old, you are not too young, you are not too skinny, you are not dumb nor are you a failure. Psalm 139:14

So let us be like Bartimaeus, throw off that thing, and don’t listen to those people, because deep down they are just angry because when their chance came they were silent.

I hope you enjoyed your 4th of July week, my family and I had a nice time, I love to eat steak, and I hope you got a chance to spend it with your families as well. Have great vacations this summer, relax, rest and enjoy.