Celibacy Diaries

Marriage isn’t for Everyone

Marriage isn’t for Everyone; Women live a FREE life when they are single

Eboni LaceyIt seems that as we age as women, the more life becomes less of a journey and more of a waiting game – waiting until we are married, waiting until we have a baby, and waiting until our lives take a turn into what society calls “complete.” But what if it never happens? What if we leave this earth and never get married? What will we do?

Well, there’s nothing we can do about it. Sure, we can date every single schmuck that comes across our paths and hope and pray that one day he will get on one knee – but there’s certainty that he will. The reality is that not every woman gets married – even the ones that want to. This brings us to a sudden mental crossroads: Are we going to suck our teeth, stomp our feet, and live bitter lives until a man decides to marry us? Or, will we just suck it up, deal with it and actually live a HAPPY, single life?

Even the word “Single” sounds incomplete. “Single” means alone, unaccompanied, solitary and unattached. Why can’t single just stand for independent? Society wants single people to feel that they need to be attached to someone – which is why many people struggle with the constant desire to always be with somebody. It’s also why women value a relationship over the many other aspects of living.

The funny thing is that a lot of women only strive to get married in life, which is actually pretty pathetic. Sure you can carve out “A Loving Wife” on a headstone – but other than that, being a “good wife” caries no real meaning after you leave this Earth. People don’t remember “the good wives;” they remember the world-changers and the outliers – the people that singly stood out and made a difference. People that changed history were all alone – they weren’t glued to a partner. Think about Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Albert Einstein – even JESUS – all who made history by themselves. The point is that there’s more to life than being married.

Not every person on this Earth wants to be a world changer, but there’s so much more you can do in life just being by yourself. You can travel the world whenever you want, you can move, you can change your career a million times, you can see the wonders of the world. There is great joy in being single. Though a husband is great and love can be remarkable, it also involves responsibility. So if it hasn’t happened yet, enjoy the pleasures of independence – doing what you want to do, when you want to do it. Stop waiting for a person to come around and change your life. Embrace your singledom and if you aren’t happy with your life – change it yourself. Change your thinking, change your surroundings, change your identity. Find a new way, everyday, to make yourself happy. Sure you might get lonely along the way and eventually want a companion, and that’s normal. But, what’s sad is the woman that wakes up everyday wishing and hoping to meet the man of her dreams that will change her life. Wishing and hoping is not living in the moment – it’s not embracing reality. It’s not living! It’s dreaming – and time on this Earth is far too precious to just dream all day long. Stop dreaming – and start living, all by yourself!