Celibacy Diaries

It’s not Training, It’s Teaching

Keep Calm and Keep Yourself: It’s Not Training It’s Teaching

Eboni LaceyMy mom would always tell me – “You have to teach people how to treat you.” I never really understood what that meant. I always thought that a person who really cared about you, would already know how to treat you. This was until I met a man that I really wanted. I soon realized how important it is to teach someone how to treat you, especially if you want to build a future with that person.

 It’s not that men don’t understand respect and care, or are heartless or insensitive. The fact is that both men and women have their own personal definitions and expectations of how they want to be treated. Yet, nobody knows what these expectations are until they are expressed. So when women claim that men have to be “trained” as if they are monkeys, it’s really not that serious. You must teach a man how you want to be treated just like you would do your friends, co-workers and family.

 Express to men how you like to held at night or how you feel that a relationship should be a partnership. Show them yourself and your expectations. Don’t let a man talk to you any way he wants or expect you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.

 Understand that what you do in the beginning sets the precedence for the entire relationship. If you say nothing when he screams at you for the first time, expect that he will do it again. If you allow him to lazily watch football for hours while you cook his dinner and then clean up the kitchen, expect that this will simply be the trend for every Sunday. Put your foot down and tell him what it is you want out of a man. Don’t nag but show action. The earlier the action, the better the outcome.

Pay attention to how he interacts with you, especially when he’s emotional or angry. If he gets out of line, make sure he knows that you won’t put up with that. And if he’s not paying attention to how you want to be treated or doesn’t care about how you want to be treated, then that means he believes that his way of treating you is acceptable. Simply put, he’s forcing you to march to the beat of his drum. You will soon see yourself put aside your own standards and focus on how you can keep him happy and how you can treat him right. That’s ridiculous! Remember the golden rule: It’s not about him, it’s about you!