Celibacy Diaries

The Dating Game is Simple

The dating game is simple: There is NO GAME

Eboni LaceyWhat sense does it make to play a game that you have no instructions to? Though you may get lucky, more than likely you’re going to suck at it. So why play it? Dating games are by far the stupidest thing ever created within relationships. The first thing to know about the dating game is that there is no dating game – just a bunch of BS to keep your mind wondering.

Sure you can buy every book in America that will give you silly rules to follow to play “the dating game.” Whether it’s to never call him after Wednesday or make plans with him last minute, or never have sex with him before 90 days, it’s frankly bull. To quote eHarmony’s advice entitled “The Twelve New Rules of Dating,” there is no dating game. “No more waiting “three days” after a date to contact your new love interest. We never liked that silly rule, anyways. If you had an amazing first date, text them the next day and let them know.”

Mental games do nothing but create insecurities and force you to focus on how to make him like you rather than just being yourself. Instead of being upfront about how you feel, you spend countless time thinking about things you can do so that he will be into you. And then when you realize that the games you played didn’t work, you feel that it’s something you’ve done wrong because you didn’t get what you wanted.

The God honest truth is that if a man is not interested, there is nothing you can say or do about it. Though it may be hurtful because you want him to like you so bad, you CAN’T get too attached to a man before fully knowing his intentions. And you certainly can’t continue playing mental games in hopes that one day he will start showing you attention. Come on now, you’re better than that.

Be willing to let things go quickly and easily. You don’t need a man that never answers his phone or replies one word answers, you deserve something way better. You deserve the man that calls you so much, it’s almost annoying. You deserve the man that will do anything on this earth to keep a smile on your face. You deserve the man that will love you unconditionally and that will plan and prepare for months of how to ask you to spend the rest of your life with him.

Be a grown woman and don’t succumb to chasing men and playing stupid games. Be blunt and eliminate the gray areas. If he is not doing what you want him to do, let him know. If you feel he’s not interested in you, explain how you feel and be ready for the consequences. Chances are that if he’s portraying that he’s not interested, then he’s not interested – just like that book and movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” explains.

Most importantly stop letting your real feelings slide or pretending that you don’t care when you know you do. Be a big girl and say how you really feel. Love yourself enough to only deal with people that are worth investing your time.

“The days of sitting around and pretending that you don’t really care in the hopes that your disdain will drive your suitor crazy are OVER.” –eharmony