Celibacy Diaries
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The Celibacy Diaries Part Two

The Celibacy Diaries (Part Two):
Find Someone That Treats Sex Just As Serious As You Do

Eboni lacey 2015After publishing The Celibacy Diaries: Part One and receiving numerous feedback on our social media, it’s only fitting to continue talking about what other people aren’t: the art of keeping your legs closed.

More and more women have made a vow to themselves to find deeper connections with men before engaging in sexual intimacy. The goal of the celibate woman is to find the right man the right way by putting the sex on hold and focusing on building a foundation with a man that involves being friends first and truly emotionally connecting with them. But, this can only be done the right way by searching for men that treat sex as seriously as you do.

If you are searching for someone to build a foundation with, then you have no time for men that don’t want to wait for it. Don’t even bother with men that only want to spend time late at night or constantly ask you to engage in rendezvous in their apartments.  Don’t give any attention to men that want to constantly talk about sex or that intend to pressure you into doing something your not ready for.

Not only does it lead to awkward conversations that you did not want to have, it also conflicts with your celibate vow. You made a vow and you owe it to yourself to keep it. Think about it this way: If you can’t keep a vow you made with yourself, how in the world will you keep a vow with another? Treat the celibate vow as important as saying “I do.”  If you intend to find real love, you must be affirmative in letting men know what you want and what you do not want. This way you aren’t engaging in anything that hinders your vow.

This doesn’t mean that you should steer clear of dating altogether, because then you are not going for what you want. Of course it’s a lot easier to be celibate when your not seeing anybody – but that defeats the true purpose of finding love. The true trick to celibacy in this aspect, is to search for the man that wants to build a friendship with you. Search for the man that wants a relationship, the one that invites you on real dates, like lunch, dinner or the movies. Find the man that asks about your goals and your dreams, and actually listens to what comes out of your month. Find the man that is looking for someone to marry – these men are the ones that are more serious about sex. Though these types of men are a lot harder to find, it ensures that you are not wasting your time with a man that only wants you physically.

Do not be the type of woman that believes she can transform the sexually driven, non-committal man into her personalized boyfriend or husband because it simply won’t work. You’ll spend more time playing mind games with him, attempting to keep him interested, and less time focusing on the key things that builds the foundation of a real relationship. A man that wants sex, wants sex and there’s no way to change his mind – it’s not worth the headache.  Be willing to let these type of men go early and often.

To find the committal, relationship wanting man, you have to dig a lot deeper – attend events where good conversation takes place –like public events such as art shows, fairs or festivals – even speed dating events or online dating might be a good idea. Keep putting yourself out there but remember your vow to yourself and remember what you deserve.

Since people like the celibacy diaries so much, we’ve made an e-book titled “A Girlfriend’s Guide To Sex: When To Say Yes & When To Say Hell No.” This e-book is available at www.theidentityofshe.com/TheCelibacyDiaries. Check it out today!