Celibacy Diaries

Helping Women Build Healthy Relationships

Keep calm and keep yourself: Helping women build healthy relationships

Keep Calm and keep YourselfThough it’s quite pathetic, men aren’t the same as they used to be 20 years ago. It’s a new generation of men out there: from the psycho ones, to the desperate ones, to the ones that believe a woman is suppose to take care of them just like Mommy.  If you want to find the wrong man, it’s pretty easy. Just walk into a club, bar or down the street and look around. They are every way. The part that’s even more pathetic is that as the years roll on by, the amount of good men gets slimmer and slimmer.

So, what exactly are women suppose to do? Settle? Deal with it? Or are we supposed to twiddle our thumbs and wait for prince charming to knock on our doors? Or do follow stupid rules, and read countless books that tell us to not call a man first, play hard to get, ignore him, blah, blah, blah. NO! Here’s what we do ladies; we keep calm and keep ourselves.

My journal is not a book of rules to follow so that one day you will fall into the arms of Mr. Right or have your dream marriage. This journal is a simple guide that helps women remember who is number one in any relationship. No matter if you are married, single or divorced, it’s important to put yourself first and not a man. Putting a man first is like joining a three-ring circus – changing your hair to what he likes, obsessing about your weight because he told you that you gained a few pounds, cooking his favorite foods every night, having sex the way he wants you to do it – the list goes on and on. If you keep doing that, then when will you be happy?

Eboni LaceyMy name is Eboni and I recently decided to use my journalism degree to help women be more confident and happier with themselves. I want to remind women that you should do things that make YOU happy, not just your man. Of course, there is nothing wrong with pleasing your man and catering to him, but there IS something wrong when he always gets his way and you never get yours. He’s happy and you’re crying your eyes out every night feeling neglected.

Since I was 17 years old, I’ve read every relationship book out here, I’ve watched every movie and been to several seminars – all because I was fascinated with relationships and wanted to know what the recipe to a successful relationship was. Through all my articles, blogs, books and interviews, I realized that nothing out there has anything about keeping yourself; being happy with yourself and pleasing yourself. It’s great to not call a man back because that’s what a rule says but it’s better to not call a man back because you’re confident in yourself and feel that if he really wants you, he will call. If not, oh well.

So, this is an exploration of keeping yourself, growing confident in your own skin and not feeling like a bad person because you don’t have a man or because you are not satisfied with your relationship. This isn’t a therapy guide; it’s a friendly reminder that you only have one life. So why not live it to the fullest and be happy, inside and out, single or not.

Next month’s journal will discuss why women make silly mistakes with men and will be titled: Don’t be ashamed, you are not to blame.  To read some more information in the meantime, check out my daily blog at http://ebonilacey.wordpress.com/blog/. The site also contains more journalism work and my resume.